Just to quickly point out, dad etc I am NOT pregnant, my mind just likes to play tricks on me.
There is a lot of pressure on girls these days, SCHOOL, UNI, CAREER CAREER CAREER, and hearing all sorts of things such as “you’re too young” for certain situations and I think because of all of this chat, I have had a fear of becoming pregnant ever since I probably started my period. My most popular post ever on my blog was about my experience with the Contraceptive Implant, something the doctors and I decided would be best, in order to battle these fears. I also love how much I have helped people with that post, quite a lot of you have said you have too got yourself the implant after reading my post – I hope life has improved for you since you got it!
I was the kind of girl that had scared herself so much after reading all sorts of stories on the internet, that she thought she could get pregnant from like a bus seat. Obviously you can’t… I am sure I am not alone here, and that many of you are afraid of becoming pregnant, which is why I felt it was important to address this subject today on my blog. It’s not that I don’t want children EVER, I just don’t wish to have them at this point in my life.
The implant is absolutely great, it has totally changed my life. The only problem, is that I don’t get regular periods – I really miss having these periods in a structured manner, plus periods are the *you aren’t pregnant* monthly reminder that I am sure you girls hate, but also love at the same time. The thing with contraception methods is they work because they TRICK your own body into thinking you are already pregnant, and therefore can’t get pregnant again. That is what is happening at the moment, I FEEL pregnant, I’m so convinced that I am pregnant for the majority of the year because it genuinely feels like there is something going on in my body. Constant bloating, urges to wee all the time, itchy / sore boobs – the list is endless!
I know these are symptoms for all sorts of issues, but with my OCD mind I can’t help but use those two words…
What if I’m pregnant? I know I have an implant, but it is only 99% effective – What if I am the 1% that it doesn’t work on? It will get to a point that these questions get all too much, and I act on my compulsion of buying and using a pregnancy test. That will calm my mind for a bit, but really not long at all. What if it was a dodgy pack and the test didn’t work, What if I have tested too early and there isn’t enough of the hormone to detect it on the test – etc etc, my thoughts are endless.
When I have calmed down and have managed to convince myself I am not pregnant, my mind will THEN move onto other things, why does my stomach always hurt, why are my boobs itchy and sore… What if it’s breast cancer?
Thats the thing with OCD. It is all about the ‘WHAT IF’ – What if I haven’t locked the door? What if I left my straighteners on? What if I have dangerous germs on myself? What if I accidentally put bleach in someones food? What if, what if, what if. I worry too much about the future…. I want to live more IN THE MOMENT, IN THE NOW. Why do I worry about things that haven’t even happened, and might never ever happen? This is something I hope to work on over the next few months.
If any of you have ever purchased a pregnancy test, you will know how intimidating it can be going up to the till with the box in your hand, especially if you still look about 16, like me, you can get some really interesting looks! This is why I love shopping online on Superdrug. You can purchase any of these items that you might feel embarrassed to usually purchase, from the ease of your own home.
Also, did you know if you have a Superdrug Health & Beauty card (if not, why not?!) you can get FREE standard delivery on all orders – it is amazing, and super super helpful. I thought I might mention it in this post because I know not a lot of people know about this fact, I know it has changed my life! I love online shopping but I absolutely hate paying for delivery, I will do anything normally to reach the minimum spend – so I hope you find this little face useful!
Can any of you relate to this post? Do let me know in the comments!
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*This post contains gifted items, however all life rambles are my own*