|Photo taken by the lovely Sophie <3|
I think today might well turn into quite an emotional rambly…
but I guess that is just how I am feeling this week! I really apologise in
advance if the post seems like it just doesn’t make sense… you are seriously
having the raw cut, straight from my brain right now, as if we were sat down in
a coffee shop together, with a lovely hot drink, and a big slab of cake, just talking about life. Me to you.
University is a great experience, it really really is, and I
would recommend it to anyone, I really, really, really would…….
All I can say is, University can just be SUCH an EMOTIONAL
I find I feel quite anxious and on edge throughout the
University year because I constantly just want to do my BEST and stress out if
I don’t achieve what I expect to. But to be honest, this part of University
didn’t surprise me – all the deadlines and everything were expected. However
what I am talking about today is something you don’t really think about when
you send off your shiny UCAS application…. And that is SAYING GOODBYE.
Summertime is such a wonderful time, but also such a sad
time. You get the freedom from deadlines (that you have literally been wishing
for your LIFE, for the last 9 months) BUT it is that time of year where you
have to say bye to your University friends. WHAT? I don’t get to live with my
best friends for three WHOLE months?! How does one survive….. Who am I going to
have pizza with at 3am? Who am I going to talk to when I am feeling sad at ANY
But all is okay, because you know you are going to see them
again soon and living with them, literally attached to the hip in no time.
Not this time.
I joined University in 2012 and now it is 2015, it marks the
year of graduation. (With courses being typically 3 years long) I am doing a
four year course, but a lot of the people I know were doing three year courses
which means they will be leaving Leeds this year SOB SOB SOB. It saddens me so
much that a few of my besties aren’t going to be in Leeds, they are going out
there into the big old world looking for jobs, it is such a weird feeling
because we started this experience together, but we aren’t finishing it
together. (& gosh I know they feel sad for leaving too) I feel I shouldn’t be here without them. I KNOW I will see them again
soon. I find I am fine when I have events booked in the calendar to meet up with
them, I feel in life I get upset about the unknown quite a lot. Having the time
scheduled in the future pleases my mind a lot, and gives me something to look
Just over a week ago my boyfriend moved out of our
accommodation. And that was WEIRD. I have lived with him since first year in
halls, so you can imagine how strange it is for me now that he isn’t going to
live with me. I won’t lie. A bit of space really has done wonders I think. I am
literally SO excited to see him next week at his graduation and you can imagine
that excitement bubble kind of dies when you see someone everyday. But like I
said, it is all okay at the moment because I have this scheduled in, so we will
probably have to have something planned in immediately after to put my mind at
rest and to look forward to. It is so hard to go from living together then
totally switching it up to long distance 🙁
I think I am just the kind of person who sometimes finds it
hard to accept that life moves on. You aren’t going to be friends with the same
people forever, life moves on, people move around the country / world, you
change as a person whilst meeting all sorts of different people along the way.
I hardly talk to anyone who I used to hang out with a lot at A-Level age, but
that is life I guess! Sometimes it is just not meant to be.
The main reason I am writing this post is because I am
coming towards the end of my year in industry this week. Friday is my last day
working for the University of Leeds, and I have honestly loved my year so much.
I have learnt so many skills, grown as a person and met some wonderfully
fabulous people. I know how much I am going to HATE saying goodbye, even though
I am going to meet up with them still next year, it doesn’t matter, I will
still be SO sad. You can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to absolutely
BALL my eyes out on Friday, and at my leaving do tonight actually!
Yes. I am THAT girl. I am absolutely pants at saying
goodbye. I really am.
– DO not look at me in the eye (I can’t do this,
it makes me weep)
– YES that is my lip wobbling uncontrollably
– Try not to talk too much about what is happening
Basically, saying goodbye is POO, I wish we never had to do
it! Saying goodbye just isn’t a comfortable human emotion. I hate saying goodbye to
my dad at the train station when I go back to Uni, I hate saying bye at the end
of relationships, falling out with friends, I hate saying goodbye to my friends
/ boyfriends at the train station. Gosh aren’t train stations horrible places
to be! I just don’t like not seeing the people I love and care about for
However, sometimes saying goodbye is a good thing. Saying
goodbye to my nan last year when she sadly passed away was the most heart
breaking thing I have ever gone through, but the closure was also what I needed,
and I am so glad I visited her in the chapel of rest, a very very sad, but very
much needed moment. One that I will cherish forever.
Hope you enjoyed this post lovelies, Can you relate to this, do you hate saying goodbye? Or am I the only one who literally can’t look someone in the eye when
I say bye, without wanting to ball my eyes out! (Obviously only works over a
prolonged period… I won’t cry if I am going to see you later that day or
something, that would be silly!!!)
*Sorry for the ramble, our drink is probably very cold now!!*
Love you lots,